Our game is so stupid. What the hell was that?
We are so stupid with our rules ... our game is stupid.
Gold Coast – 20 (Foran 17', Sami 36', Brimson 48' tries; Kelly 4/5 goals)
Melbourne – 22 (Munster 21', Warbrick 25', Papenhuyzen 27', Fa’alogo 34' tries; Meaney 3/6 goals)
Watching the highlights this week comes with a terrible injury curse:
There’s an element of let’s skip to the good part and forget about the rest of this match.1
Melbourne shifted the ball on the very first tackle of the match and had the Titans on the hop. The hosts dropped the ball on their first set and Melbourne should have scored as early as the third minute … but Trent Loeiro dropped a pass from Harry Grant with the line wide open. Melbourne’s smother defence was easily matching the Titans attack, and it felt like only a matter of time until the Storm opened the scoring.
They did just that through the brilliance of Jahrome Hughes in the eighth minute with the halfback stepping through brittle defence to put a deft grubber kick through for Eli Katoa to score the try. Oh sorry, Chris Butler in the Bunker has decided to nit-pick and deny the try because a Titans defender wasn’t obstructed. Well if he’s going to be in that kind of mood, let’s hope he’s consistent.
Our game is so stupid. What the hell was that?
We are so stupid with our rules ... our game is stupid.
The Titans missed a chance of a #RyanTandyMemorialSpecial™️ because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ in the 10th minute and lost their five-eighth Tanah Boyd with an arm injury. That brought Sam Verrills onto the field and the home team looked much better for it. It wouldn’t be until the 17th minute that the first try would be scored, with a Will Warbrick error giving the Titans field position, with Kieran Foran finding the line after some pretty poor defence from a number of Melbourne’s middle defenders. Oh sorry, Chris Butler in the Bunker has decided to nit-pick and deny the try because it appeared that Foran might have lost control and the ball was forced by the ground rather than the hand on the ball.
Our game is so stupid. What the hell was that?
We are so stupid with our rules ... our game is stupid.
Severe thunderstorm warning — Robina area
Curiously behind on the scoreboard, Melbourne exploded in the next 15 minutes to score four tries. The first was a left edge passing move that set up Cameron Munster to score a try in his 200th match. It was a quality play from Hughes to Munster to Blore to Papenhuyzen and back to Munster. Oh sorry, Chris Butler in the Bunker has decided to nit-pick and award a possible eight-point try because Phillip Sami has invoked The Billy Slater Rule and fouled Munster in the act of scoring the try, with Sami coming in legs first and very late.
Our game is so stupid. What the hell was that?
We are so stupid with our rules ... our game is stupid.
Back on level terms, Melbourne forced an error off a bomb and SOUND THE SCRUM SET PLAY KLAXON!
Look at that formation. Hughes feeds the scrum, Grant picks up from lock and the mere presence of Sua Fa’alogo in the middle of the field has bamboozled the Titans defence as they fail to number up against Melbourne’s right with Munster, Papenhuyzen and eventual try scorer Warbrick.
From the restart Melbourne scored on the fourth play of the set, Grant and Munster going to work at midfield to send Blore and Reimis Smith into yawning gaps on the left edge, Smith passing back inside for Papenhuyzen to score under the posts.
Another Titans error coming out from their own line in the 33rd minute set Melbourne up with… SOUND THE SCRUM SET PLAY KLAXON!
After being bamboozled by just the mere presence of Fa’alogo earlier, this time it was all the young Victorian, pulling this out:
I was watching the first half while attending the A-League Women Grand Final at AAMI Park (sitting opposite my seat for Storm matches) and it was lucky that I had the section to myself at this point as I might have enjoyed this try and this Storm burst just a little too much.
Rugby league is a stupid game
Up 20–6 with five minutes to go in the first half, Melbourne should have been able to get to half time … until Belinda Sharpe decided that The Chin had knocked on, when he clearly hadn’t on all available replays. Sigh. I didn’t really want to get into ref chat this week, but it wasn’t a good weekend for the whistle blowers in any of the NRL games I saw. I’m sure the Graham Annesley Comedy Hour will say otherwise.
From the scrum, the Titans decided to sound their own scrum set play klaxon and the an opportunity to attack Fa’alogo side of the field, with Sami crossing over the line in the corner. Oh sorry, Chris Butler in the Bunker has decided to nit-pick and deny the try because it was obvious that Sami had bounced the ball, losing control as he attempted to score the try. Sami knew he hadn’t scored.
Our game is so stupid. What the hell was that?
We are so stupid with our rules ... our game is stupid.
Paps is hurt:
I think every Storm fan was suffering the same existential crisis just before half time. Paps has a broken leg and is likely out for the best part of two months. Melbourne’s leading try scorer breaking the same leg he had surgically repaired last September.
At this point I won’t even bother with the fact that Tyran Wishart bombed a try in the final minute of the first half, with the non-winger back filling in on the left wing with Fa’alogo moving to fullback in place of Paps.
A second half happened
Apparently Melbourne were contractually obliged to play the second half of the match.
It started with Fa’alogo undertaking a HIA, which was odd. He passed it though and returned.
Then AJ Brimson waltzed past some flimsy middle defence to cut Melbourne’s lead to just two points. Soon after the Titans would level through a penalty goal for a marginal escort call against Josh King, Melbourne compounding the issue by burning their captain’s challenge.2
With everything going their way, the Titans looked to have taken the lead when Brimson crossed over again in the 58th minute, cutting through on the right edge for the hosts. Oh sorry, Chris Butler in the Bunker has decided to nit-pick and deny the try because Munster was knocked over by a decoy runner in the lead up. Is this consistency?
Sitting in my car in Yarra Park, watching this second half had me questioning my sanity — Melbourne’s error rate was horrendous; Meaney missed a gimme penalty goal; the officials kept making clear errors. Oh and Fa’alogo went off injured.
Meaney made up for his miss a few minutes later, this time scoring the penalty goal to take Melbourne to a 22–20 lead which they had 12 minutes to defend.3 That the Storm were able to escape with the win from this position is a credit to the smother defence and the clock management of Grant and Munster in attack.
Oh sorry there’s one last thing with the Titans challenging and retaining their challenge through a nonsense. The challenged the decision of a changeover on a last tackle play WHERE THEY KNOCKED ON TWICE. Insanity. Kelly knocked on off the kick (missed by Chris Butler despite the benefit of replays), then Jojo Fifita knocks on (Will Warbrick’s touch is not a six again) and “the challenge is successful because the decision of last tackle was incorrect”. Sir, that’s not how this works. Please demote yourself. The Titans being able to keep their challenge gave them the chance to overturn an incorrect decision a few minutes later, which remained incorrect because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
The Gold Coast probably should have won this game, but they didn’t. Melbourne move on and hope that injuries don’t ruin the middle part of the season.
Stat offloads
Sua Fa’alogo has now played 99 minutes in the NRL and scored three tries.
In 36 NRL appearances Tyran Wishart has worn 10 different jersey numbers (1, 5, 6, 7, 14, 15, 17, 18, 20, 21)
The last time Kieran Foran scored a try against Melbourne was The Battle of Brookvale in 2011.
Post match quotes
Bellsa seemed at ease this week despite the performance:
I thought at stages we weren't too smart with our footy tonight which was a bit frustrating, but you've got to give the boys some credit... leading like we did and then giving up that lead, and then hanging in there [with the Titans] finishing over the top a little bit, I thought that was a good sign. And covering for the injuries we had, I'm proud of the effort, and the way they hung in there, but we need to be a bit smarter in certain situations.
It was fun seeing Munster at the press conference, with Bellamy giving a good little quip:
To play at the level he’s played at, and the person that he is, you wouldn’t think he would be that consistent, because he’s not consistent with much off the field, but he’s been consistent with how well he’s played… he’s always played high quality. He’s been hit with the talent brush, but there’s a lot of hard work mixed in with that talent.
Was it worth it?
Sua Fa’alogo played … and got injured.
Ryan Papenhuyzen has a broken leg again.
Jahrome Hughes is hurt:
I am not too sure exactly what it is, just that it is in my calf. I felt it pop.
I feel as though I won't be playing next week, but I will get scans and hopefully it is not too bad. I want to play but it is still pretty sore at the moment.I was keen to come off but then the boys started dropping like flies. Poor Paps got injured again and Sua came off.
I spoke to the physio and asked if I should stay on and he said, 'So long as it doesn't get any worse'. I felt like a bit of a traffic cone out there for a while. I was there, but I wasn't really there.
At least Melbourne got the win in Munster and Welch’s milestone game, even if it was after a dire second half.
3/10
Storm Machine Player of the Year
In his milestone match, Cameron Munster was Melbourne’s best, while the 38 minutes Ryan Papenhuyzen played was top shelf.4 Of the Melbourne forwards only Josh King gained over 100m, playing an unbroken 70 minute stint until subbed out late in the match.
Hard to measure this one though with the overall team performance (43 missed tackles and 10 errors) outshining the individual efforts.
Round 9 points:
2 – Cameron Munster
1 – Ryan Papenhuyzen
1 – Josh King
Leaderboard:
12 – Jahrome Hughes
7 – Xavier Coates
6 – Eliesa Katoa, Ryan Papenhuyzen
5 – Harry Grant, Cameron Munster
3 – Tui Kamikamica, Cameron Munster
2 – Shawn Blore, Joe Chan, Josh King
1 – Jonah Pezet, Trent Loiero, Christian Welch, Alec MacDonald
Around the grounds
Jersey Flegg Cup U21s — Melbourne Storm 8–38 Sydney Roosters
On Saturday afternoon at Broadmeadows the Storm had a day to forget, trailing 20–0 at half time they were able to put on two late tries, but were already 38–0 down at that point. Melbourne are now 10th after nine rounds of the competition and will need to lift for their next home game on Saturday afternoon against Parramatta at AAMI Park.
Queensland Cup — Mackay Cutters 12–24 Brisbane Tigers
Kane Bradley and Tristan Powell were part of the Tigers win over the Cutters in Mackay, with the reigning premiers bouncing back to sneak back into the top eight. The Tigers did lead 8–0 at half time, but the home team fought back to level the scores with 25 minutes to play. Three unanswered tries from there the difference.
Queensland Cup — Burleigh Bears 17–10 Sunshine Coast Falcons
Grant Anderson scored the Falcons only try against Burleigh, scoring in the sixth minute. With the aid of a couple of penalty goals, the Falcons led 10–6 at half time, but a double to Kea Pere saw the home team take the win. Young Tonumaipea, Lazarus Vaalepu and Chris Lewis all started for the Sunshine Coast, with Jack Howarth coming off the bench.
New South Wales Cup — North Sydney Bears 10–10 Sydney Roosters
A draw (in this economy?) at North Sydney Oval on Sunday with the Roosters scoring a last minute penalty goal to take home a share of the points. After missing selection for the Storm on Saturday, Dean Ieremia scored the Bears only try in the first half, with Bronson Garlick also playing after being 18th man for the Storm.
Suncorp Super Netball — Sunshine Coast Lightning 64–65 Melbourne Mavericks
I don’t want to talk about it. 🤬
Next up
Round 10 vs Cronulla-Sutherland Sharks – Saturday 11 May, 7:35pm @ AAMI Park
Well team list Tuesday will be interesting ahead of this top-of-the-table clash at AAMI Park. The Sharks have had the easiest of easy draws this season, and now have Melbourne with injuries. Sigh.
Preview post published Thursday.
What the actual fuck
Channeling Damien Barrett:
IF Jahrome Hughes was handed a grade two contrary conduct charge for contact with a referee back in round two…
THEN why was Samuel Hughes only handed a grade one charge for an almost identical incident in Canterbury’s match against Wests Tigers?
Someone needs to be asking the questions about General Bias and the MRC process. Both incidents were grade one charges at most, how Luke Patten comes up with two different results… [content deleted]
Especially given Fox League put James Graham into the commentary studio.
I am going to have to start tracking these soon given how often they’re being misused.
Melbourne actually leading at the 70th minute of a match again, is it a trend if it’s happened twice in a row?
Earning himself three Dally M points because ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
How about Cronk's interview with Munster,
Cronk thought it was funny, Munster had some interesting faces happening