Rugby league gods: Watch this game, but beware it comes with a terrible curse...
Storm fan: [worried] Ooooh, that's bad.
Rugby league gods: But your team will score six tries!
Storm fan: [relieved] That's good.
Rugby league gods: The opposition will also score six tries.
Storm fan: [worried] That's bad.
Rugby league gods: But your team will miss only 18 tackles!
Storm fan: [relieved] That's good.
Rugby league gods: Your team will make 17 errors, manly leading directly to tries. [Storm fan stares, confused] That's bad.
Storm fan: [worried] Can I stop watching now?
Welcome to mediocrity Storm fans. It’s back after an absence of a few seasons, but it’s back with a vengeance.
Gold Coast – 38 (Khan-Pereira 3’, 21’, Schoupp 46’, 73’, Kelly 39’, Vuna 41’ tries; Boyd 7/8 goals)
Melbourne – 34 (Meaney 24’, 33’, Pezet 10’, Sims 30’, Hughes 65’, Coates 75’ tries; Meaney 5/6 goals)
Melbourne go into a second straight game looking vulnerable. Lightning won’t strike twice will it?
Well here we are again. It wasn’t so much lightning striking twice, insofar as Melbourne melted in the heat and their own lack of ball control. The grind is gone, long live the grind.
Gold Coast’s expansive passing in their own half, combined with sheer pace saw them open the scoring through Alofiana Khan-Pereira. After last week, the danger signs were flashing as bright as the sunshine burning down at Robina. Even more so when Jahrome Hughes incurred the ire of the referee with a late shoulder charge on Tanah Boyd, who then slotted the ensuing penalty for an 8–0 lead.
Fortunately Melbourne found a try soon after from an attacking scrum win. The Jonah Pezet era had begun with the rookie scoring a solo try from an Olam1 offload down the left channel that looked fantastic.
The hype for Pezet is huge,2 but I hope that he can put the pressure on Bellyache to keep his role in the team, as his presence with Hughes, Grant, Munster and eventually Papenhuyzen can only be a good thing for Melbourne’s attack.
A brief interlude on the first three NRL games of Will Warbrick.
I love that Melbourne were patient with Warbrick last year. It feels like he does still have rugby league “L plates” on, with his defence definitely lacking on Khan-Pereira’s second try. It is a little disappointing he hasn’t scored a try of his own as yet, but I do hope that isn’t getting him down. Opportunities will come, but the video review this week won’t be kind with three missed tackles and two errors. I wonder if it would be prudent for Melbourne to have one of the MOB closely mentoring him, as wing play isn’t easy3 and especially on the right wing where quality ball can be lacking, but strong defence is very necessary.
Down 12–6 at the first half drinks break, Melbourne looked like the same team as last week. But the stoppage seemed to kick Melbourne into gear with Pezet throwing the last pass for Nick Meaney’s first try and for Tariq Sims to crash over on just his second touch.
Meaney’s second try on the back of some good work down the right side was Melbourne’s third in a little under 15 minutes for a 24–12 lead. In the past Melbourne would have entered the grind at this point, especially close to half time, but another error and the Titans slashed the lead back to six at half time.
What came next was decidedly mediocre. Eliesa Katoa and Hughes both fumbled conspiring to have Joseph Vuna score his first career try.4 Then a few minutes later with Melbourne on the attack, Hughes couldn’t handle a Pezet pass, with the ball gathered up by Aaron Schoupp to run 80 metres untouched.
Trailing 32–24 at the second half drinks break, Melbourne needed the lift the first half break provided. Five minutes later Hughes provided a spark with an unconverted try, but another Titans try effectively ended the game as a contest. A Harry Grant grubber to Xavier Coates reduced the margin to four points with three minutes to go, but more errors and poor discipline ended any hope of a grandstand finish.
Bellyache:
Our problem at the moment is the care factor seems very, very low. I thought we would have been better.
Welchy:
We’re one of the best teams over the past couple of weeks at doing stupid shit.
Was it worth it?
Given the hot windy weather in Melbourne on Saturday, perhaps Paps had the right idea at home on the couch:
Rather than where I watched the game on my black mirror in the Marvel Stadium sauna.5
There isn’t a BOM weather station near Robina6 so I can only go by the Fox League commentators7 who all stated it felt warmer than 30°C inside the stadium. Melbourne did seem to struggle with the conditions, but that shouldn’t be an excuse. The questions in the post match about scheduling games at 2pm AEST in March are an interesting one for the RLPA.
The debut of Pezet is enough to bump up the rating from last week, and for 15 minutes Melbourne did look like a team that could come good this season, but then the second half happened.
4.5/10
Storm Machine Player of the Year
I thought Harry Grant was a standout for Melbourne. Stats say he made 41 tackles and made 66 metres from eight runs. His involvement was good in a beaten side.8
I’m giving a Pezet a point for his debut effort, and that 15 minute spell will be the baseline to judge him on going forward.
Alec MacDonald gets a point for his best game for a little while. His work often is missed on first viewing, but a second viewing and a look at the stats often sees him outperforming the starting forwards on limited minutes.
Round 3 points:
2 – Harry Grant
1 – Nick Meaney
1 – Jonah Pezet
1 – Alec MacDonald
Leaderboard
5 – Harry Grant
4 – Nick Meaney
3 – Christian Welch
2 – Eliesa Katoa, Cameron Munster
1 – Jahrome Hughes, Josh King, Jonah Pezet, Alec MacDonald
Next up
Wests Tigers – AAMI Park, Friday 24 March, 6:00pm
Well then. The stupid time slot awaits Melbourne, who will likely be without Jahrome Hughes for at least one week.
Justin Olam also copped a fine for his shot on Boyd despite not hitting his head. Let’s call that a Warren Smith special to be honest after he banged on about it during the commentary.
The winless Wests Tigers geriatric coach will be smelling blood in the water with Melbourne’s return to mediocrity matching the Tigers long-standing status.
A win would see Melbourne square the ledger at two wins from four games, which would be nice. Full preview later in the week.
The Olam/Coates combination feels enigmatic, but Melbourne are a much better team with them both there.
Guilty as charged.
Despite what the middle forwards say.
In seven NRL games, Vuna has now played against Melbourne four times, which is a fun stat.
Marvel Stadium with the roof closed isn’t a pleasant experience in hot weather, especially on level 3.
This seems like an oversight from the (underfunded) BOM. The only weather stations for the entire Gold Coast are at the Gold Coast Seaway and Coolangatta (I assume the airport). From experience, Robina (and Carrara) are at times the hottest and/or coldest places on the Gold Coast. It would be worthwhile having stations at either venue.
Actually attending a venue to provide commentary and analysis for subscribers who aren’t there, that’ll never catch on.
A future research project will be the difference between Harry Grant and Cameron Smith in games decided by ten points or less. Anecdotally, it felt like Smith played a light touch in putting his teammates in the right place when attempting to come from behind in tight games, whereas Grant often seems to “want to do too much”.