Well, how about that then!1
The round one streak continues and the Eels bounce of the ball winning streak against Melbourne is over. Happy days are here again… well maybe.
Parramatta – 12 (Penisini 29’, Paulo 58’ tries; Moses 2/3 goals)
Melbourne – 16 (Meaney 46’, Tonumaipea 62’, H Grant 83’ tries; Meaney 2/2 goals)
Typically for a round one match, the first half really didn’t hit the heights with poor ball control the order of the day. Melbourne’s defence finally cracked just before the half hour and while a poor read from Young Tonumaipea is caught out in the highlight, it really was the whole set in the lead-up that caused the obvious problems on Melbourne’s left edge.
Down 6–0 at the half felt about right with seven errors each. Melbourne had made 40 more tackles as Parramatta definitely had the weight of possession on the back of blatant forward passes from Josh Hodgson being missed by the officials – #Kleined.
The headline moment though was the finger injury to Cameron Munster, with the five-eighth leaving the field in the ten minutes before the break. Must admit I was surprised when he came back after half time, full credit to the “Mad Dog” – he’s certainly grown as a human since his off field incident in September 2021.
I‘ve dislocated this finger already before but not a compound. I was a bit surprised when I saw it come out. I have never seen bone come out before. And I hate needles. I was squealing like a 10-year-old kid in there when he was needling me up
Less than ten minutes after the resumption, Melbourne finally had their first points of the season, with Harry Grant’s work from dummy half the key in Nick Meaney getting across the line.
Munster’s return looked shaky when his bad read on Hodgson’s passing saw Melbourne down 12–6. But in true Munster fashion, he created points from a scrum win,2 with an absurd movement to send Young Tonumaipea over out wide. Full credit to Nick Meaney’s conversion too to bring the scores level.
Thankfully Bellamy remembered to send Bronson Garlick on for his long-awaited NRL debut, after he was a late change for Chris Lewis, resulting in these nice scenes after full time.
The final 15 minutes really was dumb rugby league with dropped balls, stoppages for injuries, strange option plays, and missed field goals. Of course it was always going to #GoldenGallop though.
With everyone looking at field goal attempts, thank fuck Harry Grant found space and an extend-o-arm to score the club’s first ever “golden try”.
Improving to 10 wins from 18 golden point games, this was the third time Melbourne has won in extra time during this round one streak (2009, 2014).
Was it worth it?
Round one games are a strange beast. Melbourne winning them seems about as inevitable as this guy.
There’s always handling errors, terrible officiating, and this year felt like a total absence of meaningful build up.
But, and I’ll say this forevermore it seems – #SackThursdayNightFootball, especially for fans who then can’t travel interstate. If the league is ever going to attempt to fixture games to maximise attendances3 surely the season should open in this format:
Thursday night:
7:45 AEDT – two Sydney-based teams playing each other. Make it an event at the new SFS or some rubbish;
Friday:
6pm AEDT – Warriors hosting at Mt Smart;
8pm AEDT – Broncos/Dolphins hosting Gold Coast;
Saturday:
3pm AEDT – Suburban shithole game. Pick one venue that should have been abandoned two decades ago, and play there against one of the regional NSW teams;
5:30pm AEDT – Storm hosting anyone. With no AFL usually on this weekend, make this an annual event. Like Melbourne hosting a 7:30pm Saturday game on F1 AusGP weekend, it’s a no-brainer, so it never will happen.
7:30pm AEDT – Cowboys hosting anyone. Cowboys fans love their new(ish) venue, but it’s Saturday night or nothing there for their travelling fans.
Sunday:
4pm AEDT – Throw Nine a bone and let them choose between a game in Queensland (whoever didn’t play Friday night) or one of the regional NSW teams to host.
6:30 AEDT – The off-Broadway special reserved for the two teams left who were (most likely) last season’s worst teams.
CommBank Stadium always looks more than half empty for Parramatta games on television, and I was surprised that they posted a crowd of 17,301.
While the result was tight and apparently exciting, it was a mid-tier game at best, not helped by the officiating.
6.5/10
Storm Machine Player of the Year
Last year saw Cameron Munster take out this award by seven votes from Jahrome Hughes and Harry Grant. Must admit I found it limiting awarding the standard 3-2-1 points, so to change it up for 2023, I’m awarding ten points per game in any way I see fit.
Round 1 points:
3 – Nick Meaney
3 – Harry Grant
2 – Cameron Munster
1 – Christian Welch
1 – Josh King
Of the rest, I thought Alec MacDonald provided some good work off the bench, while Will Warbrick on debut looked solid on the wing in limited opportunities with the ball.
Next up
Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs – AAMI Park, Saturday 8 March, 7:30pm
Munster and Coates will be missing through injury, joining Olam, Papenhuyzen, Seve, and Jennings as backline casualties.
Sims might have to make an appearance in Queensland’s Hostplus Cup4 before he makes his Storm debut. Jack Howarth might be in the mix, but who really knows what the club is doing with him at the moment.
Suspect Lewis and Garlick will be battling it out for one bench spot, and I would be very (but happily) surprised if Pezet or Fa’alogo feature just yet.
Preview post coming later in the week.
A quick note on “Game #” as I will use it here – as at the start of the 2023 NRL season, Melbourne have played 655 NRL games and five World Club Challenge fixtures. In the past I have used this kind of device “Game 656 (661),” but have simplified this to include the WCC games.
Long live scrums #FuckPVL.
On that day be alert for airborne porcine.
Memo to the club: please do the annual article that has the list of which players are going to Tigers or Falcons.